I enter this text as a vegetarian. My spouse, whom I typically adore and highly respect, is an omnivore—an eater of all foods. For almost thirty years we’ve practiced living, hosting, cooking, praying, and raising children together. We’ve had to practice Paul’s challenge of nonjudgmental welcome to each other around our diets as well as our differences in gender, race, and culture.

At the time of this writing, The United Methodist Church is struggling mightily in excruciating ways about how or if to welcome sisters and brothers of varied sexual orientations into different parts of the life of the church. Judgment abounds amid the disagreement. In the ruckus and heartbreak it’s hard to hear Paul’s and Jesus’ calls and prayers for radical welcome of one another—mutual upbuilding and righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit (see Romans 14:17, 19) and unity (see John 17:20-21).

So I return to lessons I’m still learning in our small family. Outrage and shock have at times flashed through me at the contrasting ways my spouse and I maneuver and view life with our different races, genders, histories, and more. More often I have been irritated by tiny misunderstandings and perceived minute acts of disrespect. That’s when an observant friend who lost her cherished spouse quietly reminds me, “Some things are more important than being right.” Really!

Perhaps her point is Paul’s as well. So I turn gratefully to welcome my beloved and the life we share. I am grateful that our imperfect unity in some way repairs the story we pass on to our children and offers welcome in a world marked by acts of terror, destruction, and separation.