In moments in his ministry, Jesus answers a question with another question. If we weren’t talking about God incarnate, we could dismiss this as conversation filler or procrastinating banter. Or we could consider that there is holy strategy behind Jesus’ interactions that steer away from direct answers and toward prompts that cause people to consider and self-reflect.

My four-year-old, who truly hates naps and therefore frequently fights his morning drop-offs at our children’s center, often demands, “Why do I have to go to school?”

I could answer, “Because I said so,” and sometimes I do. But this response is a conversation stopper. It enforces the notion that his world is dictated by outside forces, which might cause him to resist even more. So sometimes I reply, “Why do you have to go to school? You tell me.” This is a conversation starter, a cue for reflection, and an invitation for growth. That’s the idea, at least.

And while my child’s school drop-offs and Jesus’ interaction with Pilate have very little in common, I am reminded of the sacred power of responding with a question rather than a decided answer. In this story, Jesus has all the power. We know that as readers and followers reflecting back into history. But Jesus chooses not to interact with this leader of the law in a way that halts the conversation and causes Pilate to write Jesus off. Instead, he invites Pilate, even in this dire moment, to go inward. “Is that your idea, or are you just regurgitating what you’ve heard?” (AP).

From Jesus we can learn that it is more important to invite others (even our enemies) into moments of reflection and growth than it is to demand an understanding, maybe especially at times when we feel we have all the answers.