Love means never having to say you’re sorry” according to Erich Segal’s novel (Love Story), written nearly fifty years ago. That philosophy deems responsibility for hurt feelings unnecessary. Regret becomes irrelevant. Remorse simply doesn’t exist.
If Segal’s philosophy had been prevalent in the early 1990s, then Nelson Mandela’s release from Robben Island prison on February 11, 1990, would have been just another day’s news item. South Africa’s president F. W. deKlerk’s promise would have merited little notice. But it was something much more than that! It was the beginning of righting a twenty-seven-year-long wrong, the first small step toward the Truth and Reconciliation Commission with its restorative justice and redress of abuse by way of rehabilitation.
Thankfully, our God is one who hears the cries of the needy. Psalm 99 names three of Israel’s intercessors: Moses, Aaron, Samuel. “They cried to the LORD, and he answered them.” The psalmist, in recounting the history with a covenant God, touches on the Exodus experience in his reference to “the pillar of cloud” and “the statutes.” This sovereign God is ”a forgiving God.”
We pray, “Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors” (Matt. 6:12) in the prayer of our Lord. The woman who anoints Jesus’ feet with the ointment from the alabaster jar was forgiven many times and because of that forgiveness she can show “great love” (Luke 7:47). Perhaps that’s the core truth of relationship: When we can say that we’re sorry then we can be forgiven. When we can be forgiven, we can forgive. When we can forgive, we can experience restored relationships. Restored relationships foster love, which brings life to God’s community!